These people are so amazing, it is hard to comprehend it.
My family is the best.
You people mean the world to me.
Is it weird that it isn’t enough for me?
That having an AMAZING family doesn’t help my feeling all alone? Because you are all awesome. But, I need more. I need actual /friends/. Which sadly, I don’t have. I never have had any. They say a friend is a very hard thing to find, and its true.
I feel alone tho. Don’t ask me why, just listen. For once, listen to what I have to say.
People often ask me why I am so mean to myself.
And the answer the that question is very hard to answer unless you are in my head. And have gone through what I have. Even if you know what I’ve been through, you didn’t go through it, so it isn’t the same.
However,
I have come up with a simple phrase that should answer it.
You are supposed to be your own biggest critic, right?
Well, then I have a lot to live up to.
Where does self confidence come in for people like me? Well, sadly it doesn’t. It used to, but people took it from me. And now I am just a girl stuck in a world, feeling lost and lonely. As cliche’, and emo as that may sound.
“You can’t find your place in a world that wasn’t meant for you”
So true. But, I feel like this world, WAS meant for me, I just need to find my place in it. And I know that it is, because there is people that I talk to that just make me feel welcome, and help me be myself. And the sad thing is, those people I know only from online. One day, I will find people who share my outlooks on life and treat me right, even if that doesn’t happen anytime soon, it will. One of my friends said “One day, you will find that certain guy who will come along and show you just how amazing you are.” and even if she was talking to my other friend, I believe this is true for everyone. So if I have to wait for years to come, I will. because as Keltie Colleen once said “I deserve the stars” No matter what you throw at me, or how badly you try to put me down, I will not give up. I am going to find my place on this earth and when I do, I hope you look at me and regret all the shit you said.
Because I am an amazing person. Even if I am the only one who knows that.
Someday, you all will.
Someday, it will be my time to shine.
Someday, that certain guy will come along and tell me that I am beautiful.
Someday, I will find my place.
It may take time, but I can do it.
I know I can.
And I will.
